Sanctification and Sexual Sin

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Sanctification and Sexual Sin

Forum: Theological Expressions
Date: 2001, May 27
From: <Anonymous>

Sanctification and Sexual Sin by David E. Longacre The Dark Secret Sexual sin is running rampant in the secret places of the church -- not just in the pews, but behind the pulpits. Statistics reveal that 18 percent of the clergy have had some form of sexual contact with someone other than their spouses while in the pastorate, (Leadership. Vol. 9, No. 1, 1988). That is nearly one in five -- who admit it! This does not even count those who play around the edges with pornography or other less explicit sources of lust, while keeping their sin to themselves. The Bible has some very clear words regarding sexual sin: "Flee sexual immorality," (I Corinthians 6:18); "...make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts" (Romans 13:14); "Outside (the gates of the Holy City) are... the immoral persons..." (Revelation 22:15). There is no doubt that God wants His people to be sexually pure, but the reciting of these verses seems an exercise in futility for those who struggle with sexual sin. Those who would go to a brother who is involved in pornography, or struggling with an adulterous relationship, and quote these verses in the hope of "helping" the brother, are sorely naive. Sexual sin is not something that a few Scripture verses and a prayer can prevent. For sanctification to occur in the realm of sexual sin, a long complex process must occur. The purpose of this article is to help those who are struggling with sexual sin to come to an understanding of this type of sin, and how God can and will grant freedom. This article, however, does not give an easy formula answer. There are no easy answers. Sexual Sin is "Addictive" The term "addiction" is now being commonly applied to the struggle individuals have with the use of such things as pornography, adult clubs, prostitutes and illicit relationships. The term is a good descriptive term in that it conveys the feeling of being out-of-control. Individuals who struggle with sexual sin often describe that they feel like they cannot control themselves. They describe a cycle of behavior which seems to run on its own, seemingly independent of their will. They describe how they go into a pattern and trance-like, follow it through robotically. They use the term "addicted." If we mean by the term "addiction" that people are victims or helpless -- controlled by some mysterious genetic pre-disposition -- then the term "addiction" should be discarded. Such a use of the term ignores human responsibility and subverts any concept of Divine justice. If we mean, however, that people can become so enslaved to their sin that it becomes a pattern which is almost independent of their conscious choices, then the term is acceptable. To call sexual sin "addictive," is to say that people have in their lives "prevailing sins" or "life-dominating sins." This is the terminology of the Puritans, and is still applicable today. People often have certain sins which seem to run through their lives like a sewer down a medieval street, and they feel like they can never really break free and be pure. Christian writers from previous centuries would often use allegory to point to this phenomena. For example, George MacDonald's main character in his book Phantastes makes a sinful choice and as a result a shadow attaches to him. No matter where the character goes the shadow is there. The character becomes entirely preoccupied with his shadow, and spends most of the book worried about it. An act of grace removes the shadow at the end of the story. The message of MacDonald is clear: People have sins in their lives which hang on them constantly -- which they struggle with and seem to have no freedom from -- and yet God's grace will prevail. Such sin-patterns develop in our lives because God has created us to learn and act in a habitual fashion. Philosophers have different names for the process how we incorporate knowledge and behavior together. Philosopher Michael Polanyi calls it Tacit Knowledge, while others have called it Innate Knowledge.. For example, when we learn to drive a car, it becomes almost second nature to us. We do not think about all the details, we simply get in and go. If we had to re-learn all the details each time we needed to drive, it would take us hours simply to go to the store. Think about how complicated life would be if you had to consciously think about all the details of driving a car every time you went to work. Once we learn something it becomes Habitual Knowledge. This is a gift from God. The dark side of this is that our learning of sin also becomes habitual. Once we get into a pattern of sin, we go through it like a trained Poodle. We do not consciously think as we wander towards the magazine rack looking furtively around. We do not consciously choose to drive home a certain way and slip into the Go-Go Bar. The Bible tells us our hearts are deceitful above all things. Our sin is done out of routine and habit. The habit can only be broken as we see the details of our sin pattern and how they link together. God tells us to be transformed by the renewing of the mind, (Romans 12:2). Someone struggling with sexual sin cannot break free without being radically renewed in his or her thinking. This is often a long process involving Biblical counseling. God breaks sin-patterns by renewing our minds Biblically. The process requires much grace because renewing the mind takes time and is not pleasant. The Sin-System Sexual sin typically follows a predictable pattern. Dr. Patrick Carnes, a secular counselor, identified this pattern as early as 1983. His model, while lacking Biblical categories, accurately describes the pattern. While he calls it the "Addictive-Cycle," I prefer to call it the "Sin-System." The pattern that individuals who struggle with sexual sin go through is this: First there is a preoccupation with the sin. The person either has his or her thinking fixed on the particular desire, or is struggling with the temptation. The struggle becomes preoccupation. This is followed by what is called ritualization. The individual will start the ritual -- the habituated pattern. This often involves going to certain places, making a phone call, driving along a certain route, wearing certain clothes, or many other such things. Once the ritual begins the person starts to feel "out of control" or "robotic." This is called obsession and at this point the person will rarely have the will-power or spiritual desire to stop. The sin -- whatever it might be -- is committed and then followed by great guilt and shame. The guilt and shame then feeds into a poor self-image and sense of despair. In the despair stage of the cycle the person is tempted to soothe the pain by resorting to the behavior again, and the cycle begins anew. It should be clear that this cycle is a cycle of bondage. God gives clear Biblical warnings and promises which deal with each part of the cycle and which can assist the person in breaking the cycle. A person can be reminded to "flee immorality" and "make no provision for the flesh" when he or she is going into the ritual stage. A person can be reminded that "no temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man and with the temptation God gives a means of escape" when he or she is in the obsession stage. A person can be given the promises of forgiveness while in the despair stage. All this is helpful, but until the heart is dealt with, the behavior will never be gone. Individuals have been known to bring their behaviors to levels of lesser offense, and yet not be totally free from the pattern. For example a man may no longer frequent adult bookstores, but will still lust over the underwear ads in the local newspapers. Certainly this is progress, but given the right set of circumstances the man will almost inevitably go back to his deeper sins. Often the control is based on a fear of being caught, and not on a desire to "Be holy because I am holy" (I Peter 1:16). Before anyone can be freed from sexual sin, the heart issues have to be dealt with. Why do some people pursue homosexual sin, while others engage in heterosexual sin? Why do some people get involved in voyeurism, while others expose themselves? Why do some people content themselves with pornography, while others seek out prostitutes? These are all sinful responses to life, and though the details vary greatly, there are two common themes for nearly all who struggle with sexual sins. They were either sexually molested as children or had early exposure to pornography. The role of an "absent" father seems to be very significant in regard to those who struggle with homosexuality. The details are far too complex for an article of this nature. The bottom-line though, is individuals discover that sexual pleasure gives them a sense of security, well-being, or control. The deception is that the security, well-being and control, are all short-lived and unfulfilling. God states in Hosea 4:10 that when we seek satisfaction in things instead of in Him, we eat but remain hungry. Sexual sin promises to satisfy, but it does not. The core issue at the root of sexual sin is that of control. In our sinful natures we all want to control our lives. We seek ways of satisfying our desires. We seek ways to control other people. We seek ways to get order in our lives. We say, "I will control my life." This desire for control can manifest itself in all sorts of sins, but one of the strongest is sexual sin. At the core the struggle is with God and His Sovereignty. Will we trust God? Do we believe He is in control in all circumstances? Do we believe God is good? Until individuals work through these questions and face their own sin-nature, sexual sin patterns will continue to dominate their lives. If you are struggling with sexual sin, my strongest piece of advice is for you to seek out a Christian counselor who specializes in sexual issues. Seek out a ministry like Harvest USA in Philadelphia which devotes itself to helping individuals be renewed and freed from sexual sins. Most Pastors do not have the training required to adequately counsel individuals struggling with sexual issues, but often they can refer individuals to specialized counselors or ministries. You not only need Biblical counsel, you need someone to hold you accountable, (Galatians 6:1-5, Matthew 18:15-20, James 5:16). Grace Versus Works The reason I have avoided giving a formula for success in the struggle against sexual sin, is that to do so would encourage us to think in self-reliant terms. We would deceive ourselves into thinking that if we just did certain things at certain times we would gain control of ourselves and be successful in our struggle. Notice that this thinking focuses on the "me." If only I do such-and-such I will be fine. This is not thinking which relies on God. Those who struggle with sexual sin have to start to think graciously. Grace is God giving us victory. Grace is God working in us by the application of His Word. Grace is God giving us a desire to be holy because He wants us to be, not because we fear being caught. Grace is God changing us and making us like Himself. Grace is not a formula. Grace is God calling us into a relationship with Him. It is God saying to us that He loves us yet hates our sin and will do whatever it takes to change us. Sanctification is a life-long process of God working in us. Formulas cause self-trust, but grace causes God-trust. There is hope in Christ alone.