"In nothing be anxious; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God." Phil 4:6
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i really need help
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hi my name is paul. i broke my spin about a year ago in a bike accident outside singapore poly where i studied. i was paralysed waist down. i then accepted christ when i was in hospital spiriturely(i was once a christain but i don't know wat was going on coz i was still young and ignorant), i read the bible my uncle gave it to mi, a miricle happened and i could move my thighs and knees, when the professor who operated on me told my therapist that i'll never move my legs again. i saw god and many other wonderful things in my dreams and i felt so saved and peace. i wasn't afraid at all or sad but it did not last. as time goes by, i stopped reading the bible and i felt angry, sad, bad tempered and lonely. my healing stopped ...
many things happened after that, my girlfriend of 4 years left mi coz i told her the bad things i did, and she could not accept them and partly of my injury. i was quite a flirt but i don't go around chasing girls. it was a great blow to mi and even now i still can't forget her. i really wish i can see her again but whenever i think of her i'll feel terrible, i feel like crying. life is meaningless to me now i tried to kill myself once but i failed and only slept for three days in the icu.
i live with my parents and grandparents in a rented three room flat, i have two younger brothers and a youngest sister and they are like me when i was young, rebelious. my parents are taxi drivers and only my dad is supporting the family of eight, my mum don't care much bout the family i don'y know why . everyday when i wake up i'll switch on my computer and play all the games i have the whole day till late in the night, i can't get to sleep coz i only stay in bed most of the time. i don't know wat i want to do with my life. i don't have much friends or none.i want ot know more people but i don't want them to see me coz i don't consider myself a human even. i'm feeling very lonely and looking for people in my shoes so as to console each other. i feel that i'm loosing myself to the devil. i tried but i am too weak myself. as i've went through the pain i can still feel it now, i can see, feel and thing things normal people can't. i feel different, i can feel god but i'm so far away, i'm lost.
everyday is a test to me and i'll really break away someday and only god knowns when.
there's nothing i want in life and i don;t even want to recover but my dad's health is getting worst, pls pray for him coz he needs to support the family for now. God will feed mi but i really don't know wat to do now.............
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